I’ve never spent much time in the big mum website forums because I often find the comments from other mums patronising and judgemental. It’s clear they often don’t read questions properly before jumping on their moral high horses proving they are the best mum in the universe.
My mum friends are not afraid to share their mistakes as well as their achievements. I wasn’t afraid to tell them that I cut my daughters fringe so short she looked like Friar Tuck and I’m not afraid to share some of my little girls ‘naughty’ moments-they are funny to read and sharing often lightens the load.
When you have a child you feel that you have to portray to the outside world what a wonderful life you now have (with a dreamy smile)-in real life there are days when it’s just sheer hard work. Of course we wouldn’t change a thing (Well maybe I’d make more time for a haircut!) and our little ones are so precious but how do the other mums do it?
My friends, the working mums, are a great source of inspiration to me-they probably don’t even realise it. I asked them what’s your tip for helping you cope with all you have to do. Here are there replies:
- Tell the ones you love that you love them-it helps you remember what’s important (Particularly the partners)
- Never let the washing build up for more than a few days or you’ll never catch up.
- Always have a night out-a happy mum equals a happy child.
- Don’t stress about the mess-spending time with your child is the most important.
- Try not to use the TV as a replacement for time with you because you’re busy cleaning-get out of the house and go for a walk. The cleaning can wait
- Keep minor misbehaviour in perspective. It’s easy when you’re stressed to blow things out of proportion in the heat of the moment. Take a minute to analyse the situation before you react. You don’t want to regret discipline you’ve chosen.
- Wine o’clock helps!
- Takes 5 minutes out to find stillness within yourself. It helps bring calm and order after some of the toddler tantrums, breakdowns and accidents you may have to deal with. Just lie still for 5 minutes and try to get every part of your body to be still.
- Routine brings stability to everyone’s lives-set bedtime, waking up time, tea time etc. It’s not always possible but it helps children feel in control. Breakdowns often happen when they feel unsure of a situation or it’s a break from their routine.
- Pick your battles-some things aren’t worth the upset.
- Never let your children go to bed upset. Laughter and cuddles will help them wake up happy too.
- Make memories rather than trying to buy happiness. Some ideas in my other blogs
- Routine ensures you have you time- don’t forget you are a person that needs to be happy too.
- It’s important for your children to see you happy so do what it takes to put the smile on your face-a spa, a walk, a night out, a movie etc.
- Don’t feel bad about working-it gives you independence and helps you provide for your family and sets a good example for the future.
- Only you know what’s right or wrong for your family-don’t worry about what you should or shouldn’t be doing.
- ‘Those that matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter’
- Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
- Lock yourself in the shed!
(Clearly my friends were starting to go down the ‘relaxing’ route the later they replied to my question 🙂 )
Some great comments from some great working mums
I enjoyed reading these-I hope you do too
Enjoy your weekend-the sun is out and I’m off with my little girl and husband to spend the day outside.